I’m so sorry for your ordeal. It sounds like it was a mismatch from the beginning. It’s too bad you couldn’t have checked out the place before you moved there. Also what the person was like before you started work there. Sounds like he wanted you to quit too. All I can say is this is a very strange job market. I thought back in September that I had found the perfect job. I got the offer in writing too plus the company paid my health benefits. But you never know. It was a small company and people all seemed nice. However, a month after I took the job, the company couldn’t pay the rent and we were told to work out of our homes. I should have seen the handwriting on the wall. I even went to a company Christmas party too. In January, I was laid off due to the economy. My supervisor called me with the bad news. I’ve gone on a few face to face interviews but nothing to date. I’ve even had scheduled phone interviews and guess what? I’ve confirmed the time and date, and the potential employer has not called me. I think as a result of my bad experience, I ask more questions and really observe the surroundings if I am lucky enough to get called in for an interview. That being said, you have to realize there are a lot of bad jobs out there now. If I have any indication that something isn’t right, call it a gut feeling, then I don’t take the job. I’ve made some mistakes too but call it a learning experience. I am finding there are so many people applying for a few jobs. it’s all very depressing. It’s really unfortunate that you had to move and then have a bad experience. I feel your pain. I think all of the unemployed are dealing with a very difficult job market now. You may never know the answers to your questions, and unfortunately, it’s an employers’ market right now. My best wishes to you.

I lasted, at best, 10 days there..HIS personality changed when I went to the job. OF course it did not help that I was 40 minutes late on the 1st day..yeah…I had just driven 2 days to get to Miami..it was 18 hours…He knew that as I called when I landed in Miami..the day before I was to start work..I apolized profusely…and the next day I was early..and never late again…

I greeted him Good Morning the next day…He remained stone cold to me…very un-nerving for a new job….He never really gave me any real work to do during the 10 days…except to take telephone messages..re-program the computer…which failed..even with assistance..and make a call regarding the homeowner’s insurance policy for a real estate closing due any day..

He started to pick fight with me at end of day..Said I DID NOT know anything… I backed away frm conflict…

THEN he told me to leave in middle of day..and there was no one there but me and him…a set-up to tell Unemployment that I quit…I told him I need a termination letter…He called the POLICE..AND when it was on record that I was terminated…I left.

WHY would somone to that to a person they hired..she moved all the way to MIAMI…signed lease..and then stay stone cold to me…and FIRE ME????????????????

So I am out of a job again. NOW, company will not give me my paycheck. I move into the roach motel. Yes, I had to call the state hotel agency to get the exterminator over. I have to sue my company for my money. Yes, 3 months later I get to court and win and get my money.

Move out of roach motel to another motel. Yes, I am now a transient. Get a job at a national plumbing company. Get hit on weekly by lead plumber. THEN get threatend with ASSAULT by another plumber because I speak with a college educated voive..Then I get fired. Again. Boyfriend leaves me. He was a loser anyway. Things a girl puts up with when desperate.

Move to another motel. I am living in S. Florida you see. Lets see, a live drug bust outside my window. DEA running around with guns. Too much. My poor nerves…Living there is unstable. Of course.

Can’t find a job. A few temp jobs. THEN I realize this is hopeless. I am now living off credit cards to pay the overhead. I am in deep trouble. Parents won’t let me come home. I am on the verge of suicide.

Finally, a male friend steps in and tells me to come back to Delaware and stay with him rent free. Not strings attached. And there were not.

FInally move in with parents. Get a job. 6 months into job, yes I can do the job, but the stress is turning me into a nervous wreck..get out of that job. Get new job. 3 months in, boss tells me he is leaving for better position and my position will be eliminated.

Parents start going nuts. Call Police on me hoping they can get me put away in the “nut hut” permanently. That does not work.

SO, even though I got a part-time job, 5pm to 9pm, it is still not enough for them. They throw me out of the house, change the locks. I am broke. Go to motel, use credit card. Stress, and more stress. I almost fell apart there. A male friend and my brother came over to visit. Stress and fear has been unbelievable. OH, this turnkey is getting nuked and nuked and nuked from all angles. Yeah, I am at the shooting range and being shot at, and they are not missing.

Get out newspaper. Move into house to live in the room for rent. Find out homeowner, who lives there is alcholic.

And within a month I have the nervous breakdown. Everything is out of control, and I have been and was under too too much stress. And never recovered. Finally, after ending in up in Critial Care Unit of hospital, because my heart was about to stop. Low, low, low potassium. Parents show up. Promise me a better life. AND here I am, still living in the crazy house with the alcoholic, on disability, and no hope.

As to parents promises….lies lies and more lies..I am abandoned again. ANd have not recovered since 2/07. I tried , I tried and tried again, and again. BUt every winter I fall down..and this winter is killing me.

Oh, this turkey is beyond nuked.

Yeah, well I cleaned up, dusted myself off and moved on. It took me 1 year to find a new job. Ok, I get a job. I think I can turn it around. I think hope again.

Turns out the Company cannot make payroll on a regular basis. Turns out MY paycheck gets jerked and I am due to SIGN a lease on a new apartment that weekend and move in on Monday. I am already out of my last place. Surprise surprise, the owner of my apartment gave me 45 days notice to move as they are going to sell unit. SO I am living in a hotel suite…..fast forward…in good conscience I cannot sign a lease with a company that cannot MAKE PAYROLL….I see financial suicide.

NOW what am I to do. Furniture in storage. Me in a hotel I cannot afford. Cannot sign a lease anywhere because this Company cannot make payroll on a regular basis….YEAH, I am the turkey in front of sh*t that is hitting the fan.

I was stressed out of my mind. No place to live and essentually no job….a job I cannot trust to get paid by on any regualar basis. Few days later the idiot attorneys decide to talk about porno movies, yes porno moves (they are 35, and 1 married with children) SO stressed…this upset me more..I yell at them…blah blah…Boss ask me if this is true. What to do. Say yes…I will get trminated..say no..I can get terminated. WHAT to do…the Company is unstable…and they have made me unstable.

I say no..1 week later I am terminated for “being uncooperative”. What do I care about being co-operative…they are not paying me my due money…cannot trust them…and I have no home..and now no job. WHat job did I have…at that point none…a company that cannot make payroll .

I went downhill from there. Eventually, had a 14-mo nervous breakdown. Never recovered. Yeah..I am messed up big time.

Yes, we can walk into bad situations, we can get fired through no fault of our own, yes we can be part of a company downsizing. AND, worse, we can finally NOT land on our feet.

The stress and instability alone willl near kill you. WITH no emotional support, another killer. YES, I was the turkey who kept landing in sh*t. I am the “turkey” that got shot and DISABLED for life.

I am a scared, lonely person stuck renting a room in a house with an “alcoholic”. I am abandoned by my family because I am a failure. A “misfit” in society as my mother called me.

Yes, I am the turkey. Everything went wrong and it was not all my fault.

(2) Does the “Its not you. Its not me. Its them” credo work or help?

I think it helps to get your “boat” righted in heavy seas. There is nothing wrong with “you”, the work you are doing (usually), or the work you could be doing with proper leadership and management. IMHO! There are rarely squares in rounds, left handers in a right hand company, or just you in their “world”.

THis is my experience I relate the above “credo” to. I was hired in a corporation, paralegal, in the legal department….6 weeks into job, I get lecture that’” this company is about relationships” …fast forward, learned I was hired in the busiest quarter of the the company….a re-structure took place…at end of quarter I was terminated..yes I was a direct hire and given a $1200 x-mas bonus, then out the door, January 6, when it got slow.

3 years later or so…someone says to me….you were not fired, you were used for the busy quarter, then let go…to hold down the fort so to speak…………….

as to “rarely rounds in squares”, there was never an issue with my work….they gave me that B.S. lecture as part of the beginning of the set-up….to terminate me..

No only did they termianate me when work slowed to zip….BUT they messed with my head the whole time I was there….

Nothing wrong with my work…because I was not a “round in a square.”

BUT they messed with my head and made me think I was the “round in a square”
Otherwise, they would have complained about my work. They did not.

All of the “credo”applies. I got left in the dust not knowing what I had done wrong when all along I was hired to serve a short purpose in a busy time.

The company messed with my head and led me to believe I was the “round in a square”

Thanks for the time to respond…Yes, it is helpful.

How horrible..truely…

As a regular runner for 20 years, getting 1 hour of exercise in the morning is a great survival tactic.