Once again you have shown me your heart and your sensitivity to a very painful subject. I think you, and many of those on the forum thank you, for your willingness to attempt to do SOMETHING. For too many, something is not ever even considered.

I am a great fan of VW, and thanks to you have had the opportunity to meet him and many of the others who commented on this blog. I also a ma great fan of yours, for you are comfortable enough in your own skin to show your vulnerability, as well as your compassion.

Many time we can’t do the right thing, even though we may think we are, or may not even be able to think of the right thing. You, my friend, did the right thing, regardless of what you now are thinking. for you the first step needed to be calling someone more in the know, and that was right. For others, the first step was to act differently. For all actions that were taken, the right thing was done.

The good news continues to be played out in this scenario. VW is doing better, is in the hands of loved ones, and his friends, the community that gave him purpose, is reaching out in their care and compassion. We can be thankful that VW did not become a statistic, but rather is a victor in a struggle that affects to many people and lives each day.

I have had my own battles, and they have helped me to become a much better and more focused person. I also have found a better sense of life, love, and relationship than I could have evr believed possible. I know this will also happen for VW, and that it can happen to those who will loook to the future as an opportunity. It truly is there for the taking, and available to us all.

Keep up the good work, Jason. You are making a difference, filling a need, and gathering a following because of your candor and openness. May your star shine more brightly as you reach out in human kindness and support to many who are hurting on this and each day.

Barry

I have known quite a few people in my time that have attempted suicide, some were successful and thankfully others weren’t. It is also easy to see it as a selfish act and the people left behind often do feel exactly that. But in the person’s mind that is contemplating suicide it is usually not an act of selfishness but an act of desperation.

Most people are not “wanting” to die when they commit suicide, they simply do not see there is another choice. Even when there may be another choice they may not be strong enough to face the potential of yet another rejection.

We cannot make assumption about what others are facing or have been through. If we know in time, we can help them see there is another choice and we need to try to do that. But what seems obvious to one is not always realistic to another.

I wish all people had a family they could turn to, but far more than you would suspect do not. They have a family, but that often times is not a family that cares.

Sheilah

Robert Stanke
http://www.robertstanke.com

The ripple effect of this post (and the “depression” post) on your readers — the knowledge gained, the awareness raised — may save a life. And you’ll never know it was because of you. But it will be.

Listen.

Please listen to me carefully – for just a moment, ok?

Something GOOD IS going to happen to you, today.

Think about it, carefully: No matter what day, under what circumstances you may find yourself in on a given day, it’s virtually IMPOSSIBLE to get through a day, any day without something good happening to you. In addition to anything which may put a drag on you, something good is going to happen, too.

It’s often a matter of our poor arithmetic skills that allow the bad things to be counted so heavily that we just don’t take time, don’t give time to count the greater quantity of good things that happen to us.

How ever normal it may appear that we’re justified in accentuating the negative, logic also dictates that we’re equally justified in accentuating the positive, the good, too.

So, join me and other persistent optimists who say, “Something GOOD is going to happen to you.”

This is the message of encouragement from VW to the forum that I ‘just happened to notice’ when I was in my Facebook inbox just now.

Not a cotton candy type of optimism of the shallow… rather the stop and think and grow kind of optimism.

It is the core of the community that reacted last Friday… and on through the weekend… and continues to explore and grow and discuss and offer and console and reach out… that have helped me get through the emotions of all of this.

& the claming words of several community members (including the humble Mr. Alba) who tacked the conversations toward the light of day when the thoughts turned dark in the middle of the night.

There are some tough thoughts that have come up along the way… some members who have been caught up in the mortgage crisis that have been crying out for help… that can not find work… that are getting doors slammed in thier face from the first line on the resume… they have encountered the ‘currently unemployed are not welcome here’ attitude… and other generalizations along thier path that have left them confused and battling and feeling alone.

Did VW fight that same fight, but with the words of his industry rather? Does it matter?

Part of the lesson for me is to be kind to those who ask for help in subtle & not so subtle ways…

I don’t have answers for the people who have posted in the community about battling thier unemployment battle… I don’t have answers for people who posted on the ‘Depression Clouds Everything’ column…

I just hope that those that do can find a way to reach out to those that need so that person by person the fear of exposure of weakness fades in the light of acceptance.

& along the way people make and pay for services rendered when they can and have services available when they can’t.

Your post definitely brings up some mixed emotions. As you know, I have been a moderator on that forum for several years. I did not know either that VW did not live in a beautiful home, was financially well-off or anything else. He was always so positive and “put-together!” I marvelled at his compassion for others, at his willingness to help EVERYONE, whether he truly knew them or not! One lesson we all have learned is that is is very easy to “hide” online!

Don’t beat yourself up for what you did on Friday morning. The main thing is that you did SOMETHING – you REACTED – a lot of others would not have done anything! You did the right thing by assuming that he would carry through on what he planned. When someone is suicidal, you cannot count on them thinking clearly and in the end, doing the right thing.

Jason, you should be commended – for having the courage to step forward to do something and then the courage to come here to write your post and worry if you did the right thing.

You are indeed, a true friend, a divine connection! Thank you, my friend!

Carol Deckert

I lost my best friend at the age of 21, nearly 30 years ago. I never did find out why she did it and for the longest time I experienced a deep sense of guilt for not being there for her when she had the need. I was in my home, pregnant with my first child, and wrapped up in my own life to notice that another life was spiraling out of control.

I think it’s really important we take notice of that still small voice that speaks within and brings someone else to our minds – we should explore more why that is.