I Lost More Than My Job 2 Years Ago
June 16th, 2008
They say losing your job is one of the top three major life stresses, up there with divorce and death.
You only die once… and most people probably won’t divorce more then two or three times in their life… but we can all lose our job over a dozen times in our career. If we change jobs every five years, and we start at age 20 and retire at age 65, we’ll change jobs 9 times.If we change jobs every three years, and we start at age 20 and retire at age 66, we’ll change jobs 15 times.
I met a guy last year who had been laid off 26 times. Imagine, 26 pink slips… and he wasn’t retired yet!
Why is this so stressful? Why does it rank up there with death and divorce? Here are some things I lost when I lost my job:
The ability to pay my own way. I’m quite independent, as I’m guessing you are. I like to pay for my own stuff, from a movie ticket to my car payment to my house payment…
The security I feel with insurance. Life insurance, and health insurance. I felt extremely naked as I lost these two things, which added to the stress in a big way.
Respect. I lost respect from others, who judged me because I lost my job (just as I had judged others… what a dork was to judge). Worse, I started to lose respect for myself.
My identity. I went from Jason the General Manager to Jason the ???. That was hard. In a society where we identify ourselves with our titles, losing the title was pretty devastating and left me in a state of confusion for a while.
My place in society. I was no longer able to contribute time or money the way that I had before, and felt more like a leach than someone who was adding value to the world.
My confidence. I was pretty self-confident before I got let go. I was even confident during the first couple of weeks, but as my job search stretched through the weeks and months I questioned whether I really had what it took to be an employee. Should I start from the beginning, and get an entry-level job?
Some of my “friends.” This was weird… to be quite chummy with the guys at the office, sharing personal experiences, enjoying personal successes, developing personal relationships. And then, with the pink slip, comes the fine print that almost says “you can’t communicate with the guys from the office anymore.” I didn’t expect that to be a side-effect, but it was. And losing friends like that hurt.
Yes, it’s stressful, and painful. We should be prepared for this recurring event, though, and with that preparation it doesn’t have to be so despairing!
What did YOU lose when you lost your job?
June 16th, 2008 at 9:49 am
I found jibberjbber when I lost my job! I spent hours on job boards. i didn’t have much of a network then, in the last year have dedicated a lot of time to building and maintaining it. We all need a network -not just a career source.
I found a job as a substitute teacher. That helped a little. I was in the school until 2 or 3pm and then job hunting into the evening. I had the flexibility to go on interviews.
June 16th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Your second point about insurance is a good point. I recently posted an article on my blog about why you shouldn’t rely on employer provided life insurance as your only coverage. Those gaps in coverage in between jobs can leave your family and financial portfolio really exposed. I’ll probably go back and add a link to your article here as a real life and authoritative example. As far as health insurance there is not much you can do since we are so reliant as a culture on our employers for health insurance. Also you have Cobra to protect you in between jobs.
Sadly those last five points are so true. We connect so much of our lives with our jobs and careers that it can be scary sometimes.
June 16th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
[...] President of Twelve Horses and by boss, Steve Spencer, chats one on one with Jason Alba, founder and owner of JibberJobber. Interesting and short. Worth the watch. Related Posts: Social [...]
June 16th, 2008 at 10:39 pm
I lost my need for dependency!
Dependency on job security, company provided perks and especially identity.
I got me back!!!
June 17th, 2008 at 6:30 am
Jason, as always, great points.
As I was reading it occurred to me that the same feelings are often shared by people who have left the “paid” workforce to raise children, care for aging parents, deal with a chronic illness, or retire. Even new entrepreneurs can feel it.
No matter the reason for leaving, or how useful the new work is, the change from paid, connected, insured worker to an unsalaried new gig, takes some getting used to.
June 17th, 2008 at 8:15 am
When I was fired, they gave me the push that I needed to be free.
June 17th, 2008 at 11:29 pm
@ Carlos:
Same here!
June 24th, 2008 at 10:51 pm
@Brandon - what timing! As I remember, you were one of the very first JibberJobber users… thank goodness we were launched by then :p
@Michael - as you know Cobra is a joke… but, if you have serious health problems I guess it’s all we got. My insurance issues came because I had “assets,” which I found very ironic. Basically, the state said “oh, you have a 401k - you don’t qualify for help!”
@Carlos - awesome. Awesome. It is eye-opening, and hard for people to understand when they have the need for dependency, but I totally agree with you!
@Deb - There should be some program to help people into these life-changing events. Even if it’s just a simple daily e-mail for 90 days or something like that.
@Andres - awesome. I got that push too. I didn’t realize it until JibberJobber came along, but it certainly was a push.
July 1st, 2008 at 9:01 pm
What did I do the first time I lost my job? I slept like a baby (I cried all night).