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Breaking: Jason Alba was laid off Monday Night

April 1st, 2014
Yep, most of you guessed it, this was April Fools! The last one I did, which I thought was pretty funny, was this: New JibberJobber Service: Let Us Lay Off The Boss Who Laid You Off!

In a shocking blow to the career professionals world, Jason Alba was laid off from JibberJobber.com last night at 4:59pm.  JibberJobber will be managed by a team chosen by the a private equity firm that was involved in his layoff. The new management team will be announced tomorrow.

Jeff Harris, partner at Harris, Harris and Geoffrey, said:

“Jason never really understood the market dynamics of a business like JibberJobber.  He didn’t pursue sales of job postings, like job boards do.  Look at the success of that model.  Even back in 2006, when he started JibberJobber, Jason thought that focusing on the needs of job seekers would be a successful strategy.”

JibberJobber has had a tenuous relationship with job boards, which seem to think of themselves as adding value to job seekers, in spite of statistics that clearly show that applying to openings on job boards is one of the least effective tactics to find a new job.  In past interviews, Alba said that job boards were not interested in offering JibberJobber’s functionality to their users. Alba blogged about one job board executive stating “our users probably don’t want to track where they apply.  If they do, they can just make a spreadsheet, or get sticky notes.  Besides, we really don’t care about the job seekers.  We are making so much money from HR and recruiters who pay hundreds of dollars to list their openings on our site that we can’t bother with job seeker’s requests.  If a job seeker complains about wanting features to help them keep track of their search, we just ignore them.  They will probably be gone in a few months anyway.”

Harris has big plans for JibberJobber.  He said the first order of business is to do away with the CRM tracking features that have become the hallmark of JibberJobber, and to create a job board for entry-level fast food restaurant workers. This puts a focus on what Alba used to call burger flippers.  Harris said:

“We are going to take the burger flipping job search to a new level.  We have done extensive research and found that other job boards aren’t filling this crucial need.  We will allow people to find openings at over one hundred different fast food chains across the United States (except Florida), in Spain and in South Africa.  With dominance in those markets we’ll move to other important countries, like Germany and Alaska.”

bring_jason_back

Harris’s strategic direction seems to make no sense at first glance, but if you consider how job boards make money, focusing on corporate sales and neglecting job seeker needs, it’s clear he can turn JibberJobber into a multi-billion dollar powerhouse.  Perhaps Recruit Co, the same company that paid one billion dollars for Indeed.com (“Wowzers! That’s a lot of money!” exclaimed Harris, as his eyes bulged with excitement), would consider buying JibberJobber with this new corporate focus.  “After all, it seems companies aren’t paying Monster much anymore, so they need to spend their hiring budget somewhere,” stated Harris. “LinkedIn can’t be getting all of it.  Wow, really one billion dollars?”

Harris said he will spend the next nine months on the road raising funds from savvy investors for this new chapter of JibberJobber.  “Investors will invest in pretty much anything, so it shouldn’t be hard to find VC money pretty quick.  Jason played an important role in starting this business, but now it’s time for smarter management to take it to the next level.  It’s going to be an awesome ride!”

Upon hearing this news, career coaches are in an uproar. Some have put “Bring back Jason” on their websites, while others have declared they are leaving the industry all-together.  Elizabeth Smith, a career coach in Wisconsin, declared she is going on a hunger strike until Jason comes back to JibberJobber.  “Or at least allow me to continue using JibberJobber as my business CRM, even if Jason doesn’t come back!”  She seems to be irate that her productivity tool will be switched over to a burger flipper job board, although concedes that maybe she might need to use it in the future.

Alba could not be reached for comment.  We heard he was busy working on his own JibberJobber account, and is busy scheduling informational interviews and finding networking events to attend, so he can find his next job.

Clearly, there are bright things ahead for JibberJobber.

26 Comments »

26 responses to “Breaking: Jason Alba was laid off Monday Night”

  1. Marc says:

    I told Jason if he didn’t buy me lunch there would be HELL to pay.

    Serves you right.

  2. Alex Freund says:

    INJUSTICE!!!!!!
    But who said that corporate America’s prime objective is justice? It is more like $$$!!
    Jason, I am here to help you in any way I can. I mean it!
    Alex

  3. Mom says:

    Do you need to move back in with us???

  4. JP McDermott says:

    Interesting that this came out on April 1st…hmmm

  5. Fred Coon says:

    Having worked closely with VC and PE firms for 20 years, I concur with the board’s decision yesterday. I mean, what company would want to retain a manager who is hard working, honest, bright, resourceful, P&L smart and forthright?

    You can’t send that type of person to Wall Street to raise money. The capitalists there wouldn’t believe him because he isn’t hyping properly – he’s telling the truth – something they wouldn’t recognize if it bit them in the a__.

    So, I agree wholeheartedly that we need to send someone there who can speak their language (lie, cheat, steal and make you feel good about having it done to you) rather than Jason Alba. In today’s workplace, he is a throwback to times that are being forgotten quickly. I agree, get rid of the bum.

  6. Lisa Rangel says:

    Noooooo! The horror!!!!

  7. Barb Poole says:

    Oh, all’s well that ends well. Jason, you never did understand the jib-a-job world:-) Good one!!

  8. Jason Alba says:

    These comments are making me feel better about the whole situation…. thanks all!

    (Mom, not yet… still working on Plan C, or D, or E… I lost count!)

  9. Horreur! Jason. you know we are all here for you if you need advise!

  10. Jason, I am *SHOCKED* (and not much shocks me, any more, at this stage of my life!)

    Please let me know if there’s anything I can do (you never know). We’re grateful for what you’ve done, and been.

    Now:
    1. Did “anywhere” mean geographically mobile?
    2. For what should I be keeping my sniffer tuned?

    I’ll keep an eye on this evolving — hope that if one door closes, a better one (and more suited to your best, unique motivated skills and passions) manifests and opens up, and invites you in and onto it.

  11. HAPPY APRIL FOOLS JASON!

    If its real and you want a Kick*** resume let me know. For you I’d do it for free.

  12. Deb Dib says:

    First I panicked. But this has Jason playing an April Fools Day joke all over it. I hope I’m right…

  13. Grant Hemingway says:

    Great work, I saw this on my LinkedIn updates and even though I knew it was April 1st I still had to read it!

  14. Walter Akana says:

    OMG!! Say it isn’t so, Jason!!
    You do have JibberJobber Premium, right?

  15. Jason Alba says:

    Walter: “it isn’t so.” This was April Fools…. thanks everyone, for playing along, especially those who offered me free coaching and resume services, and to call them immediately. And thanks to my mom who was ready to take me and my family back home… even though it is many states away :)

    I’ll post more about this on April 3rd… Wednesday :)

  16. Walter Akana says:

    Actually, I got that it was April Fools!! And it was awesome!! Look forward to hearing more. Hope you’re doing well!! :)

  17. Niall Cotter says:

    Canada says “no”. We’re banning maple syrup exports until this injustice is righted.

  18. Niall Cotter says:

    Oh…glad to see international pressure had an impact.

  19. Susan Cook says:

    The problem is, Jason, you have to cultivate a sense of humor to survive these days!! I’m just mad I didn’t think of that one (tsk). Susan

  20. Thea Kelley says:

    Kudoes, Jason. I’ve always wanted to pull an April Fool’s prank in my business, but I haven’t had the nerve. I did convince my husband that a member of the Grateful Dead was recording an album of operatic arias, but that was very low-risk.

  21. Judi says:

    the MEME gave it away. You did my attention though!

  22. Hugh says:

    Too Funny Jason, thanks!

  23. […] Tuesday was April Fools. An announcement on the blog said Jason Alba was laid off. […]

  24. Steve Levy says:

    Really Dog…really?

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