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When Your World Seems To Be Crashing Down #CareerManagement

January 23rd, 2020

Last week I got a message from my adult daughter that started in a way that no parent wants:

“I’m okay, but…”

She was driving down a road when a kid pulled out in front of her (he didn’t look both ways before he pulled into the road). A crash was pretty much unavoidable in that situation. Luckily she, and her 5 year old passenger, were okay. The other kid was okay too. We think the insurance company will “total” her car. Not only did this moment of indiscretion cause physical pain that would linger, but now we have to spend time with the insurance companies and figure out a replacement vehicle. No one wins in this situation.

sam-car-1

We feel blessed and lucky that everyone walked away intact.

Saturday morning I was with my son at our rental house (which is a long story, I should write about that in another post) fixing a water leak. We had spent a considerable amount of time and money on this project, finding a leak and then paying for a plumber who ripped out a lot of Sheetrock. We had to replace carpet and all of the Sheetrock… it was a big project and had taken a lot of time away from my day job.

I get a call from my youngest daughter’s phone, and a crying girl tells me I have to come home RIGHT NOW. I try to figure out what is going on, is someone dying, etc., and learn that the caller is actually my middle daughter who just got her driver’s license. Just days earlier I had officially put her on my insurance. Her license was barely a week old. This girl has been on fire for the last school year, very disciplined in all that she does, and we have seen a lot of personal growth in her. Really cool stuff. She was on her way to the gym but made it only about 20 feet out of our driveway when she hit demolished our neighbor’s brick mailbox.

She did not bump the mailbox. She demolished it, and then drove over it! Within 48 hours we have our second totaled car.

This time I came home to a police truck and an ambulance, with my daughter inside getting checked out. Fortunately she walked away okay, although her wrist is beat up and pretty bruised. It puts her out of violin for a while (she is first chair) so she can’t practice or play… and it changes her gym routine. Oh, and yes, more insurance phone calls, and a weird conversation with our neighbor.

How did this happen? Don’t ask me.

I’ve had enough, you know? My wife and I decided years ago that we want a boring life. This is the type of excitement that we could do without.

Note: I still haven’t called the insurance company to make a property claim about my water damage. When I called about this Tay vs. the Mailbox accident (I’m now naming them, just to keep them straight), they said “oh, you already have a claim for your daughter.” “Um, yeah, this is for my other daughter….” 😐

What do you do? You press forward. You love your kids. You are grateful that nothing worse happened.

Side-story-that-merges-in-with-the-main story

My in-laws, who live in our house, had left Thursday morning for a road trip to Arizona to see my father-in-law’s brother. They got news Thursday night that my oldest got in an accident. Then, Saturday they got news that my middle daughter was in an accident.

They were driving home from Arizona and a few hours south of our house they hit a snowstorm. No big deal. We live in Utah. We slow down, drive careful. But outside of the snowstorm my father in law hit a puddle and spun out. I’m tired of telling accident stories by this point, so I’ll just share a picture of his totaled car:

They have the same insurance company as we do. I’m sure they are getting tired of claims filed from my address!

I did the math on this situation… we have totaled 3 cars in the first 3 weeks of 2020. If we extend that out we are projected to total 52 cars by the end of the year.

Please, oh please, don’t let that be the case.

Give me boring.

I should say, I do not want 52 totaled cars by the end of the year.

It’s been a stressful few weeks for my household and our insurance adjusters. And it’s been a little stressful.

But seriously, things are okay. We have insurance. Everyone is okay, although sore and bruised. Cars (and mailboxes) can be replaced.

While cars are crashing all around, my world is not crashing all down.

Years ago, when I got laid off, it felt like my world was crashing down. Everything I had been working on culminated into me sitting around with no income, wondering what I could do for a living. Wondering if I could even get an entry level job at a burger joint.

I felt like it was all crashing down, but indeed it was not.

My perspective was darkened by depression and by focusing too much on my immediate needs and fears. Looking back at that time, now, from my current perspective, I can see that it was just part of the path I had to go down.

That path is part of my story, and it is a reason why I am where I am today.

I’m not done, mind you, but I’m in a better place than on that dark and dreary Friday the 13th when I got laid off.

My message to you is that whatever you are going through, recognize that it is not your destiny to remain there. You will grow out of it. Or you will be pushed out of it. But your future can be as bright, and stable, and peaceful, as you want it to be. It might take time. It will take work. But your current now by no means has to be your future.

Work through this time. It will be okay.

P.S. Just for fun, here is a picture of the almost done water damage job. This is before the carpet, texture, paint, etc. Looks like a small job but it certainly didn’t feel like it when we started :/

 

 

 

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